Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
