My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Found the puke drawer
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
