Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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