do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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