I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
