Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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