This is not my ceiling
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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