Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
