btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
