Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
As shirtless as possible
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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