she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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