We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
