I hate all girls vehemently.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
