you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
