I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
