it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize