he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm at about main and main street
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
