now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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