Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Sex in the backyard? Check.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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