wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
