I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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