is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
