Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
worst night to have a conscience
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
