well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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