I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize
