pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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