was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
