I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
