Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Ketchup is God's man juice
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
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