i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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