I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
