I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
