You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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