So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
literally had 100 drinks last night.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
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