my mouth tastes like poor choices
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
