I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
