Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
