Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
