found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
