We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
