I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
