Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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