I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
