Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
