I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
