Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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