It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
