Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
