I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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