Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
