no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
