if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
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