Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
