Your tits are I can't wait for
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
