I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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