your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Randomize
