I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
