after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
