had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
