Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
