YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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