Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
